Moving is really easy if you don't have anything. I have RSG's car loaded for the last of the two car loads of stuff to take over to the new place, but The Fat Baby fell asleep, so I will wait. Maybe I will sleep with him.
Moving
My Own Place
I shouldn't say my own, I will share it with my kids. I am so happy with how fast things are coming together. I had a job within the first weeks of arriving in the states, and now I will have a rental.
It is a really nice rental, you know without cockroaches or red ants, and with a washer and dryer. I don't know what to say I am beside myself happy at this moment. So by the grace of god, or the grace of all of the people I know. I need everything except a washer or dryer to go in the place.
I am going to need a coffee pot!! So I guess I am excepting handouts or old furniture that anybody wants to give to me. I need everything.
It is a really nice rental, you know without cockroaches or red ants, and with a washer and dryer. I don't know what to say I am beside myself happy at this moment. So by the grace of god, or the grace of all of the people I know. I need everything except a washer or dryer to go in the place.
I am going to need a coffee pot!! So I guess I am excepting handouts or old furniture that anybody wants to give to me. I need everything.
Happy Mommy
Today I had parent teacher conferences... Tarzan's first couple of weeks weren't so smooth, email's and phone calls from the teacher that basically consisted of her telling me that he wasn't ready to be in school. This was such a shock to me, he has never been less then the favorite in any activity that he has participated in.
Within a couple of weeks from the first week of school, the emails starting slowing down. No news is good news, right? I was unsure because in my reply to two of the different emails that I received from the teacher was a little harsh, I just had the overall feeling that she didn't want to deal with the different language issues. That he was going to be a little more work, he is high energy, he is a little boy.
Tarzan's teacher told me that everything has turned around, that he is doing a wonderful. So I doubted the sincerity.
Today at the conference she reassured me that he is doing a wonderful job, that he is a bright little boy, very affectionate, that he is friends with everybody, not just in his classroom but in all of the kindergarten classrooms. This is my boy. These are the things that I am use to hearing about him. She did say that the first couple of weeks were pretty rough, but now he is doing a very good job. All of this made me very proud of my little guy. I know how amazing he is, and I want the people that are around him to know how amazing he is also.
He is adjusting well to all of the new things happening in our lives.
Within a couple of weeks from the first week of school, the emails starting slowing down. No news is good news, right? I was unsure because in my reply to two of the different emails that I received from the teacher was a little harsh, I just had the overall feeling that she didn't want to deal with the different language issues. That he was going to be a little more work, he is high energy, he is a little boy.
Tarzan's teacher told me that everything has turned around, that he is doing a wonderful. So I doubted the sincerity.
Today at the conference she reassured me that he is doing a wonderful job, that he is a bright little boy, very affectionate, that he is friends with everybody, not just in his classroom but in all of the kindergarten classrooms. This is my boy. These are the things that I am use to hearing about him. She did say that the first couple of weeks were pretty rough, but now he is doing a very good job. All of this made me very proud of my little guy. I know how amazing he is, and I want the people that are around him to know how amazing he is also.
He is adjusting well to all of the new things happening in our lives.
Clarifacation
As angry as I am about every shitty thing that TML has done to me. I am so resentful of him because of the choices he made after the birth of the fat baby. I also know that I have made bad choices, and that I am not perfect.
I am not sure about what I want, but I know that I have these two beautiful small children that adore him very much. And I hope that for them TML can pull threw. I know that if he were to show up here today that I would be happy for a moment, but I also know that we would have to get help, that we would both have to learn how to work threw all of the problems of the past. That it would take so much from both of us.
I have moments were I miss him, and I can't just stop loving him.
It is so easy for everyone to say that I have made the right choice in leaving him and yada yada... I just walked away from a relationship, and the father of my children. I think what gets lost is that I have two kids, I am starting over with two kids. Thankfully I have somewhere to stay, but what I need is a place for the boys and I. I need furniture, I need everything that goes with starting over.
It is so hard to go on a job interview and be like I really want this job, this is exactly what I am looking for, and all of the things you say when trying to get a job. Then be like I am only available 8 am to 2 pm, sorry I have kids and yes I need a job, but my kids have to come first. Oh, and I am all alone with them, so yes if anything happens to them, then I am the only one that they have to be responsible for them.
Rose's where I am working, I made a point not to mention that I have kids, and said that I was flexible. So this is how that panned out. I have only worked night shifts, and 8 hrs on Sunday. Not really ideal for a single mother, that doesn't have childcare, nights or on the weekends. I am hoping with time, that I can start getting more of the hours that I need.
I hope my job, can work into the shift I need eventually....
I am not sure about what I want, but I know that I have these two beautiful small children that adore him very much. And I hope that for them TML can pull threw. I know that if he were to show up here today that I would be happy for a moment, but I also know that we would have to get help, that we would both have to learn how to work threw all of the problems of the past. That it would take so much from both of us.
I have moments were I miss him, and I can't just stop loving him.
It is so easy for everyone to say that I have made the right choice in leaving him and yada yada... I just walked away from a relationship, and the father of my children. I think what gets lost is that I have two kids, I am starting over with two kids. Thankfully I have somewhere to stay, but what I need is a place for the boys and I. I need furniture, I need everything that goes with starting over.
It is so hard to go on a job interview and be like I really want this job, this is exactly what I am looking for, and all of the things you say when trying to get a job. Then be like I am only available 8 am to 2 pm, sorry I have kids and yes I need a job, but my kids have to come first. Oh, and I am all alone with them, so yes if anything happens to them, then I am the only one that they have to be responsible for them.
Rose's where I am working, I made a point not to mention that I have kids, and said that I was flexible. So this is how that panned out. I have only worked night shifts, and 8 hrs on Sunday. Not really ideal for a single mother, that doesn't have childcare, nights or on the weekends. I am hoping with time, that I can start getting more of the hours that I need.
I hope my job, can work into the shift I need eventually....
