I am working on getting Tarzan and I our papers to stay in this oh so beautiful country for at least 6 more months. As a person from the United States I have 3 options.

1. The Mexican Lover would have to pay taxes, and show that he has enough money to support both of our punk asses.
2. I would have to maintain a certain amount of money in my bank account in the U.S. over a period of time.
3. My job can sponsor me and therefore I would be working legally. They have to have a solid reason why they need an American person working for them.

Here in Mexico the law for minority employment (I am the minority) is that you have to have 10 Mexican persons working for everyone 1 non-Mexican. So thankfully I am the only non-Mexican employed at my place of employment.
So Tarzan and I will be going with option number 3. Since I am already working this is better for us, and my boss. This will make it so we avoid getting in any kind of trouble with immigration, being fined, or possibly deported.
Being deported in Mexico is a very bad option. I believe the way that goes is that you get a free ride to Mexico City were they send you to the American Embassy were it is up to them to find a you way home. If they are unable to find anyone to pay for your ticket home, you go to jail. There aren’t any free rides to the border. No surrey Bob.
So back to the papers, all of the paperwork sucks, but nothing like the photos that you have to have taken. One frontal shot of your face and then a profile shot of your face. You have to have all of your hair slicked of your face, no make up, no jewelry, and no smile. They are absolutely horrible. They look like mug shots. For me to have these photos taken is a breeze I understand the rules, and I know that I will look horrible when it is all over.
Well Tarzan doesn’t really get it. The idea of taking a photo without smiling isn’t any fun. Then to have someone take a profile photo of a 2 year old, damn dude. To Tarzan it just seems to him that some guy wanted to take a photo of his ear, and that really was confusing. It took about 30 min. and candy bribes, toys, and a dog to get the job taken care of. The little shit still looks adorable and I look like I have been on a weeklong stooper and on the way to the jailhouse. I even have a big zit on my upper lip for a little bit of flavor. SEXY!

UGH! I went from washing my clothes by hand in a blue bucket. Then I had the luxuries of a concrete wash board!!! Then I was able to use a full fleged washing machine. Then in the last 2 months the Mexican Lover purchased not only a washer, but a washer and dryer. AAAAAAaaahhhhhhhhh modern technology. Well then I decided to move out and I am back to a concrete wash board. I am just glad it isn´t a bucket. I am also free to use the washer and dryer as I please, but whatever.

My new camera is on the way... so soon this will be a photo filled blog!

So Tarzan and I moved out, without a dought. We slept there for the first time last night and Tarzan slept in his own room without any problems. When he woke up in the morning he just woke up and walked into my room and found me.

My Internet connection is on the fritz so I have it for a little while and then I don’t. It is very frustrating. I have assignments that I need to do. Ugh!

My friend Joe! Well he is a native of San Diego, but I met him here in Zihua and we have known each other for more then 3 years. I would consider him one of my best friends here in Zihua. He looks like a Californian, blonde hair, blue eyes, very handsome. He is a traveling man. Well this motherfucker had one of his molars pulled out the other day. He felt the need to share this tooth with everyone; he would walk up to you and more or less put the big disgusting thing in your hand. Think god he cleaned it up before he proceeded to do this.

Today started out pretty rough. This morning as Tarzan was waking up he was attempting to jump from his bed to our bed. Well he didn’t even make it from the squatting position and he took a serious tumble. He caught his chin on the bed frame and ripped it open really bad, and the new open wound was bleeding profusely. His shirt was covered in blood. I am at times very mommy about my little guy and all of the blood scared the hell out of me. The Mexican Lover and I drove him to the doctor’s office as fast as we could, but we are in Mexico so that isn’t always so fast. The doctor took one look at my precious angel and said that he needs stitches. Damn dude, 2 years old with his first set of stitches. Well Tarzan had the stitches for approximately 2 hours before he yarded those bad boys out. So he will have a very large, very narly scare on his chin. It will be a manly scare so I guess it is OK.

My camera took a shit on my New Years Eve, or I would have taken a series of photos to share with y’all.

I believe my camera will be back in my hands in a couple of weeks. The Mexican Lovers family took the camera to the service center in Mexico City and they report on the camera is that it is in very bad shape, and they are going to send me a new one. That is what they are telling me but who knows. And who are they anyways?

Tarzan is eating Styrofoam, so I am of to kick his ass.

The Mexican Lover is the saddest Mexican Lover ever. Tarzan and I have packed up are bags and we are headed out. It should be that smooth. The apartment is furnished, and I mean furnished. It if came with books in English. So the Mexican Lover isn’t making things difficult, but he isn’t helping out very much. He bought me two fans, a DVD player so he knows that I am really going, but he is looking for every reason in the book for Tarzan and I stay a little bit longer, and I am a sucker and Tarzan and I will be here with The Mexican Lover until Monday. Then I am going to put my foot down, and take my rugrat and move a whole whopping 5 minutes away. Where I am sure The Mexican Lover will show up on a day-to-day bases to sleep, eat, watch TV, and just hangout with me. Ugh what is a girl suppose to do?

Everything seems really good. I hope this feeling stays for a while. I feel like I am making some really positive choices for Tarzan and I. The Mexican Lover is sad, and that really surprised me. Tarzan and I will move into are own apartment tomorrow. He will have his own bedroom. We will both have more privacy. And I will go back to enjoying The Mexican Lovers family instead of being annoyed by them all of the time. I think this will be a really healthy move. It feels really good. I am signing a lease for this apartment for a year. I am a little bit nervous about that kind of commit. Ugh.

Sometimes the Mexican Lover is very good, but just sometimes. Last night after I got off of work he took me to eat at Carlos n Charlie’s. The fucking food is so super delicious. I don't know what it is that I ate, but it was really good. I can’t say that I have ever been to Carlos n Charlie’s sober. The times that I have been there I am like falling down drunk. It is a different experience sober.

Then all of the extra drunk Gringos made an appearance. More commonly known as the Gringo Show, and it just reminds me that white people shouldn’t dance. They shouldn’t dance, because they can’t dance. If you ever take the time out to watch any non-white person dance, they will generally have rhythm and dance moves. White people rub their junk on each other at that’s it. That isn’t dancing, that’s foreplay. No one wants to watch. And if someone is watching it is because they are laughing at you.

Then when we come home I go to use the restroom and there is a Frog in the shower. This happens more often then I would like to talk about. I don’t want to touch the frog; well I am not going to touch the frog. So this morning when I go to take a shower I will take it in fear of have a frog jump on my the entire time. Gross!!!

So at this moment I have a wild turtle that lives on the floor that I can’t get read of. And then there is the frog. The latest edition to the family.

My blog is so beautiful. I love it! Thank You. Rai. I have found an new apartment, and it is so nice. It is very little and very mexican, but I am very excited. Tomorrow the Mexican Lover is going to go pay the deposit, so we are locked in. I won't have an internet connection for a little while, but I will still be able to use the Internet in my Mexican Lovers house. So all is good in the hood. Tomorrow I have to go to immigration. Ugh! That is always stressful, but I am sure that everything is going or go pretty good. I hope.

I didn't do anything, I didn't do one fucking thing except be pissed off that I wasn't doing anything. I am so bored and everything is so predictable.

I don't think so, Tarzan doesn't want to ever take a nap when the time is appropriate. He wants to wait until the wee hours of the evening, so he can hangout with ease until 2 am. I want to go and drink, I want to fall down. The Mexican Lovers mom is going to kill me if I take off and Killian is all bright eyed and bushy tailed. The up side is that he will sleep until 10 or 11 tomorrow. The choices I need to make.

There is a language dilema, My suegra doesn't speak so much english, and my spanish is worse then my english. If anyone can believe that. She loves Tarzan allot, so she won't care if he is super awake all night. He is better then T.V.

I eat cheese every meal of the day. I love cheese. I eat cheese and I eat cheese, and then I act like I don't know why I can't take a shit. The things we do for love.

I took Tarzan downtown tonight. We do this all of the time so it is pretty routine. He knows all of the people that work at the small tiendas, restaurants, and bars. He also knows all of the people that spend most of their time at these establishments. He is quite the little man about town. I don’t know what got into him this evening, but he went fucking crazy. Crazier then normal. He wouldn’t slow down for anything he ran and ran and ran. The best is when we went to the town square, better know as La Cancha, or The Basketball Courts were he just ran circles. There was a drum circle tonight and would occasionally take a moment to watch them but then he would start up again. To anyone that doesn't know this child would have thought that I injected sugar straight in to one of his veins.

I can only think of one time that is somewhat similar experience. Last May he got a new pair of shoes and he tested them out and ran and ran and he would stop total strangers on the sidewalk and start screaming at them and pointing at his new shoes, this is also the time he started showing his karate moves to everyone. I wasn’t able to leave the house for a whole week; he was just out of control. Oh man, I don’t know what happened tonight, but I am super fucking tired and he appears to still have a few hours left in him.

Well I fell asleep before I finished this post and for sure before Tarzan, but he appears to be ok this morning and I am off to teach some English classes. Anyone that really knows me knows that is a very funny job for me. Another day another pocket of pesos.

The water is back, it just started running in the middle of the night for know reason at all. It just comes and goes all on its own.

It is all of the little things that remind you that you live in a 3rd world country. Like when you chose to live with your Mexican lover and his entire immediate family and a few extras. When the house has a 7 bathrooms and the bathroom that you use hasn’t had any water for about four days, and there doesn’t appear to be any light at the end of the tunnel. Sure they’re plenty of other bathrooms to use, but other people are using them and I feel like I am intruding. UGH!

Tarzan is 2 years old and his vocabulary is very limited, not because he is slow or anything, but because he is exposed to two different language simultaneous. Right now in this stage of his life I think that it is lucky for him that NO is the same in English and Spanish. That seems to be the only word that he uses. He is an amazing beautiful little boy and I don’t mean to complain, but he is 2 years old, and he is very 2 years old.

Eating is something that has become more and more challenging on a day-to-day bases around the home front. It isn’t that he won’t eat; it is how he is eating. Today he had some cereal with milk. This isn’t a complicated thing to eat. He knows how to use a spoon, and he knows how to get the stuff from the spoon in to his mouth. I have seen him do it, so I know he knows how it is done.

Well this very basic breakfast dish of cereal with milk. He took his spoon and rested it in the bowl. Then he proceeds to take a handful of cereal, but his hand is cupped because he wants to get an adequate amount of milk in his hand with his cereal. He slurps all of the milk out of his hand with out eating any of the cereal. He holds the cereal with one hand and picks one piece of cereal out of the other hand and rubs the cereal one piece at a time on the table before he eats it.

This whole process is very annoying, I encourage using the spoon… and I encourage using the spoon. Once he has eaten a good portion of the cereal this must get very boring for him, because he will stick both of his hands in his cereal and mix it around a little, and after he is covered in milk he will ask for a napkin to clean up his mouth, shirt and hands.

It is all a breathing exercise… It is a breathing exercise………. and remembering that he is all of two years old.

I don't really know what I am doing. I promise it will get better..... just give me a little time to figure everything out.