The idea of commitment is kind of strange. I think as a person in general you can make all sorts of commitments, it is like New Years resolution, and sure you can sit down and make a whole list of resolutions. Things that you are committing to for a whole year and when you don’t follow threw on them there isn’t anyone there to say, hey what about your commitment. Maybe no one even knows if you haven’t followed threw.
There are other larger commitments like going to college… most people that you are around are going to know if you have graduated or what not.
So when you make a commitment to another person, what if your commitment is stronger then the person you are committed to. What if the person you have chosen to be with has decided that you’re not really that important to them anymore.
So my problem is that I don’t want to live in Zihua anymore, I can’t progress here. I am bored out of my mind and there really isn’t anything here for me, and there hasn’t been for a really longtime, when the partying stops there really isn’t much more to do here.
So about a month or so ago I told TML we need to have a talk about the future and what are our plans as a family going to be. I told him that I wanted to get my real estates license and move back to Portland. His response to me was “ OK give me until February” great that was so much easier then I could have ever imagined.
Since this conversation he has gone back and forth on everything that he has said…
So this leaves me questioning his commitment to this family, and me and at this moment I don’t feel there is any. I know that I am far from perfect, and I know me not being happy causes allot of unnecessary petty arguments. I also know that I am very much still in love with him. The idea of being without him, hurts allot.
I also need to take in to consideration that I have 2 very small children and I’m the only person look out for their best interest.
I feel like I am have been really patient with his issues, and some times I just feel I am done, but I don’t really have any idea what is the right answer.
There are other larger commitments like going to college… most people that you are around are going to know if you have graduated or what not.
So when you make a commitment to another person, what if your commitment is stronger then the person you are committed to. What if the person you have chosen to be with has decided that you’re not really that important to them anymore.
So my problem is that I don’t want to live in Zihua anymore, I can’t progress here. I am bored out of my mind and there really isn’t anything here for me, and there hasn’t been for a really longtime, when the partying stops there really isn’t much more to do here.
So about a month or so ago I told TML we need to have a talk about the future and what are our plans as a family going to be. I told him that I wanted to get my real estates license and move back to Portland. His response to me was “ OK give me until February” great that was so much easier then I could have ever imagined.
Since this conversation he has gone back and forth on everything that he has said…
So this leaves me questioning his commitment to this family, and me and at this moment I don’t feel there is any. I know that I am far from perfect, and I know me not being happy causes allot of unnecessary petty arguments. I also know that I am very much still in love with him. The idea of being without him, hurts allot.
I also need to take in to consideration that I have 2 very small children and I’m the only person look out for their best interest.
I feel like I am have been really patient with his issues, and some times I just feel I am done, but I don’t really have any idea what is the right answer.
