I think about death allot. I don’t want to die, I think that might possibly be the thing I fear the most. I have always thought about death. For whatever reason I have been around allot of death, allot of people dieing and for all kinds of reason illness, accidents, really anyway anyone could die. Death of people of all ages.
I one point in my life I decided that I wasn’t going to go to any more funerals except for immediate family. That plan lasted almost a year. I find that you go to funerals for closure, or to be support for someone close to you. I remember the first dead body that I looked at, I think I might have been in the 5th grade and my family and I where at my grandfathers funeral and I was with my little sister. It was an open casket and she wanted to look at him, so I took her to look at him. I also remember everyone talking about the way he looked, and what color he was after the funeral, and that my grandmother didn’t cry. It seemed so odd. I have only looked at one other dead body, and it was because I opted for it. I was 19 and she was a newborn. I thought it couldn’t get any worse then that. I also thought she was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. I still think that.
I think about death I think almost daily since I had Tarzan, I should say that I worry about death the most. When I first had him and up and until I had Beny it would concern me allot what would happen to Tarzan if say I were to die. What would happen to my Tarzan if I were to die? This would stress me out, I know that I could have made some kind of executive decision and make a will, but then I would be faced with making decision of who would be best suited for my little guy. How do you pick something like that? I know now that both of the boys would stay together and be with TML. God forbid that something happens to the both of us. Tomorrow this topic will be discussed with TML. UGH!
I one point in my life I decided that I wasn’t going to go to any more funerals except for immediate family. That plan lasted almost a year. I find that you go to funerals for closure, or to be support for someone close to you. I remember the first dead body that I looked at, I think I might have been in the 5th grade and my family and I where at my grandfathers funeral and I was with my little sister. It was an open casket and she wanted to look at him, so I took her to look at him. I also remember everyone talking about the way he looked, and what color he was after the funeral, and that my grandmother didn’t cry. It seemed so odd. I have only looked at one other dead body, and it was because I opted for it. I was 19 and she was a newborn. I thought it couldn’t get any worse then that. I also thought she was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. I still think that.
I think about death I think almost daily since I had Tarzan, I should say that I worry about death the most. When I first had him and up and until I had Beny it would concern me allot what would happen to Tarzan if say I were to die. What would happen to my Tarzan if I were to die? This would stress me out, I know that I could have made some kind of executive decision and make a will, but then I would be faced with making decision of who would be best suited for my little guy. How do you pick something like that? I know now that both of the boys would stay together and be with TML. God forbid that something happens to the both of us. Tomorrow this topic will be discussed with TML. UGH!
