Every year when Christmas roles around I want to go home. I want to be with my family, but not the way my family is now, but the way my family use to be. You know with a mom and dad, and without unnecessary tension between the siblings. My siblings and I grew up in what appeared to be pretty fortunate situation, everyone got along pretty well. Lots of love, I wish it were still that way. I haven’t seen my older sister in more then 3 years, and she has never met either of my sons. My brother Casey, well we don’t talk to each other… Let me rephrase that he doesn’t talk to me, his wife I think is the biggest influence in that decision. His wife told my mom (when she was pregnant with my nephew, and I was pregnant with Tarzan) that I wasn’t aloud to be around her son. They have two kids now, and I still haven’t met them, but I would like to. The few times that I have been around Casey since I have had Tarzan he has been very cold to him. My dad he left, he quit. I don’t know how he justifies the choices that he makes; I haven’t talked to him since Tarzan was a few months old. The last time I saw him he pretend he didn’t see me, which still hurts really bad; he never even called or said anything when I had Beny. I asked my sister if he new I had the baby and she said he knows. I know that he new I was pregnant because I wrote him a letter and told him. I can’t continue to put out an effort to be friends with him, because he refuses to respond, and I can’t keep letting his choices hurt me.
Now I have two fucking beautiful wonderful kids, and I would love for all of my family to know them and to love them and my dad and my brother can’t get over there lame bullshit.
Right after I had Beny things were pretty horrible around the homestead. A lot of things happened that I won’t be sharing on my blog, It all caused me to get pretty sad, and when I think about it to much it makes me sad all over again. It has all made me want to leave Zihua; I want to be back in Oregon.
Beny is Mexican and in time he will also have a US birth certificate, I have gone and filled out all the papers and paid for it so now I am just waiting, and then I will be waiting for his US Passport. I am sure everyone is aware that the US has some pretty big immigration issues, I guess if I had to leave Mexico today that I could hire coyote to get the baby across the border. Could you fucking imagine, I am a US citizen, and I would have to try to smuggle my newborn child across the border like he was a 15 lbs bag of coke.
Tarzan was born in the states so he already has his US birth certificate, and US passport and TML is in the process of getting him is Mexican papers.
Once we have Beny's US papers we will start filing for TML papers for the states.
So this is all being done on Mexican time so hopefully sometime in the next year everybody will have so many papers I could build one hell of a fire. When everybody has all of the necessary papers I am hoping that we are headed north to start from scratch.
That has gotten completely off the topic Christmas, so I am fed up with Christmas in Zihua because I want to do the whole family ordeal with my kids and yada yada. Here Christmas is more or less the same ole shit you have dinner with your family and then it is off to party tell you can’t party anymore. Speaking of parties, it is the middle of the night and my neighbor sounds like he is having a rave in his apartment.
So this weekend we will be getting our plastic Christmas tree and getting ready to celebrate Christmas in Mexico with Tamales and a Piñata.
Now I have two fucking beautiful wonderful kids, and I would love for all of my family to know them and to love them and my dad and my brother can’t get over there lame bullshit.
Right after I had Beny things were pretty horrible around the homestead. A lot of things happened that I won’t be sharing on my blog, It all caused me to get pretty sad, and when I think about it to much it makes me sad all over again. It has all made me want to leave Zihua; I want to be back in Oregon.
Beny is Mexican and in time he will also have a US birth certificate, I have gone and filled out all the papers and paid for it so now I am just waiting, and then I will be waiting for his US Passport. I am sure everyone is aware that the US has some pretty big immigration issues, I guess if I had to leave Mexico today that I could hire coyote to get the baby across the border. Could you fucking imagine, I am a US citizen, and I would have to try to smuggle my newborn child across the border like he was a 15 lbs bag of coke.
Tarzan was born in the states so he already has his US birth certificate, and US passport and TML is in the process of getting him is Mexican papers.
Once we have Beny's US papers we will start filing for TML papers for the states.
So this is all being done on Mexican time so hopefully sometime in the next year everybody will have so many papers I could build one hell of a fire. When everybody has all of the necessary papers I am hoping that we are headed north to start from scratch.
That has gotten completely off the topic Christmas, so I am fed up with Christmas in Zihua because I want to do the whole family ordeal with my kids and yada yada. Here Christmas is more or less the same ole shit you have dinner with your family and then it is off to party tell you can’t party anymore. Speaking of parties, it is the middle of the night and my neighbor sounds like he is having a rave in his apartment.
So this weekend we will be getting our plastic Christmas tree and getting ready to celebrate Christmas in Mexico with Tamales and a Piñata.
